Skype: Doublespeak over IP!

Apparently Skype isn’t just for free phone calls, it’s the cost-effective way to spread untelligible business babble! Forbes writer Daniel Lyons, in his Fake Steve Jobs persona, comments on Skype founder Nikklas Zenstrom’s weird comments on Ebay’s acquisition of his company - in which, it’s become quite clear, Ebay paid far too much:

Zennstrom says Ebay “overshot in terms of monetization,” which the Journal translates to mean, “eBay overpaid” and which FSJ translates to mean, “I robbed you big-time, frigtards.” Then comes this doozy: “We had to chart the trajectory of growth and how fast that would run, (but) we found out that was a bit front-loaded.” Yeah. Front-loaded. See, they thought by now they’d be doing a zillion million free phone calls by now, but instead they’re only doing a billion million free phone calls. Key thing when you’re selling free stuff is you gotta have volume. And scale. So you can leverage synergies and distribute empowerment across multiple platforms freeing up resources and effectively achieving economies of scale …

Lyons/Fake jobs calls is “bullshitspeak,” which is pretty accurate. It’s easy to understand why Zennstrom wouldn’t want to say “Ebay paid way too much for my company, because we aren’t producing the revenue we said we would,” but everybody knows that’s just what he’s saying. So now on top of looking like the guy who fooled Ebay, he looks evasive, too.

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