Illegal Legal Advertising - or is it Legal Illegal?

High up in my pantheon of most despised types of TV advertising are the legal ads. I cannot imagine the circumstances under which I would place a call to James R. Sokolove or the offices of Dane Schulman.

The ambulance-chasers seem to get more aggressive - and absurd - every year.

Anyone insult you in the office? Call us today!

Remember that kid who stuck his tongue out at you in fourth grade? You deserve redress!

Slip on a banana peel! Chiquita must pay!

A friend of mine was on a jury where the complainant was suing a roller rink because she’d fallen and broken her ankle. Gee, if you don’t want to take any risk, stay off roller skates, why don’t you? (I believe the judge ended up throwing out the case.)

There are plenty of legitimate reasons to sue the bastards, and I’d hate to see the little guy’s ability to go after the big bad guy compromised, but we all have to admit that there are a lot of frivolous law suits.

So, I hate most ads for law firms, but maybe that’s because I haven’t seen any of the ones with any wit or originality. And I’m not likely to, because the ones with any wit or originality aren’t allowed in some states, as I learned from a recent Wall Street Journal article. (I believe this requires a subscription to WSJ Online to access.)

Here’s the story (by Nathan Koppel):

Syracuse, N.Y., attorney James Alexander ran a TV spot for his firm showing lawyers offering counsel to space aliens who had crashed their UFO. He also did one with lawyers towering like giants over Syracuse.

…Not amused, New York court officials said the ads contained “patent falsities.”

“It cannot be denied,” wrote assistant New York Attorney General Patrick MacRae in a court filing, “that there is little likelihood that [the lawyers] were retained by aliens, have the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound, or have stomped around downtown Syracuse, Godzilla-style.”

A federal judge hearing a free-speech suit Mr. Alexander brought ruled in his favor last year. The case is on appeal.

I hope that Mr. Alexander prevails, because it seems a shame that a clever, obviously tongue-in-cheek ad would get tossed off the airwaves, while the dubious but apparently more “legitimate” ads in which lawyers trolled for people willing to sue over too much mustard on the pastrami sandwich are okay.

South Carolina is “currently reviewing a ban on any ad ‘likely to attract clients by use of showmanship, puffery or hucksterism.’”

Boy, would I like to see how those words are defined, in a strict legal sense.

With respect to ads, things are really hopping in Florida.

Florida, a leader in legal ad rules and regulations, outlaws slogans, jingles, “manipulative” visual depictions, background sound (except for instrumental music) and ads that “create suspense.”

But the Florida bar…filed a complaint in 2004 against Fort Lauderdale personal-injury attorney Marc Andrew Chandler over ads that featured a pit bull wearing a spiked collar. The Florida Supreme Court sided with the bar in 2005, ruling that pit bulls conjure up images of viciousness. “Were we to approve,” the court wrote, “images of sharks, wolves, crocodiles, and piranhas could follow.”

Panthers, however, are allowed. As are lions. But tigers are out.

You’ll always be safe with “the scales of justice, a gavel, an eagle, columns, and a plain unadorned set of law books.”

Apparently, it’s the boring, stuffy old Bar Associations who are against the fun ads.

And I (now) know that things differ from state to state, but tell me again why a funny ad showing a lawyer working for aliens (clearly a spoof) is not okay, while one encouraging people to sue for any old reason isn’t.

Bring on the funny ads, I’d say.

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