Just another “somebody done somebody wrong” post

Let me put on my cowboy hat and strum a steel guitar; it’s time for a tale of woe. (With a little marketing lesson, too!)

We’ve been together for years - back to the 90s. We’ve been through a lot; emergency (late) gift purchases, shopping for myself, all of it. Our relationship expanded into new and interesting areas, after starting over our shared love of books. But now, I’m sad to say, it’s over. Amazon.com, some betrayals are too much, and you are not who you say you are.

Let me tell my tale of woe. (Someone start strumming a steel guitar!) I needed a new camera, and I turned to you. Sure, others might have saved me a few bucks. But I trust you. You follow through. You do things right. When you say it’ll be there Tuesday, I know I can count on you.

But not this time. I did my part; I selected “expedited shipping” and paid the extra fee. But when I got my shipping confirmations, my new camera was on the slow truck. Why?

Well, Amamzon, I thought it was you I was dealing with. I typed “amazon.com” into my browser, didn’t I? But no - you passed me off to another. Two others, actually, which is where things went wrong. One of them got the “expedited” message - so my memory card came quickly. But the camera - no.

And when I knew something was wrong, I didn’t give up; I turned to you for help. Imagine my surprise when you told me, “Sorry, bud; our affiliated sellers are handling this, and we can’t help you. Call them.” Well, it was clear that the problem was that your shopping cart, so what was the point of that?

When I replied to ask for some other information, though, you gave me the coldest reply of all: “I’m sorry, this email address does not accept incoming messages.”

I’m not unreasonable, Amazon. I can forgive. We all have bad days. But that is one thing I cannot forgive.

The camera did show up, a bit earlier than expected. That was a nice surprise. Less nice was finding that it had been shoved into a too-small Fed Ex box that was bulging at the sides. Amazon, I’m spending hundreds of dollars for a piece of electronics, is it too much to think that it would be packed in the right sized box and protected by packing materials? Those little gestures always mean so much.

I won’t call you to complain. I know what you’ll tell me, Amazon; “that was one of our affiliated sellers!”

That is true, but you know what? You’re the one whose brand now means “messed up shipping and badly-packed merchandise.” I came to you, Amazon. You. I came to you because of I thought I knew you, and you passed me off to someone who got it wrong. You’re the one I hold responsible.

Funny thing is, Amazon, somebody did you wrong too. Somebody cut corners and put your name on it. You brought it on yourself, but you’ve still been done wrong.

And so I’m done. But I know it’s hard to quit you; you make it all so easy. So I went and deleted my payment methods and addresses from my account. No one-click shopping for me. Sometimes I’m not strong, so I needed to put some distance between us.

And now it’s time to make my own way. Maybe the next camera will come from Best Buy. The next book from Borders. After so long, I’m out on my own, in a world full of strangers with their strange new ordering screens and shopping carts. It’s confusing.

But I’ll find my way. I’ll be okay. That’s just how it’s got to be, Amazon; you done me wrong, and so it’s time to move on.

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