Can’t they just leave us alone?

Grim news, I’m afraid.

I saw in The Wall Street Journal last week that “marketers are starting to personalize in-store promotions based on products the consumer recently picked off a shelf or purchased — and in the near future, based on what the shopper looks like.”

Dunkin’ Donuts - actually one of my favorite little establishments - is testing out a system where there’ll be ads - tied, initially, to your gender and approximate age - at the cash register when you order, and yet again at the pick-up counter. Fortunately, the test is in Buffalo, and I have no plans on shuffling off there any time soon. But I do stop in to DD oh, about 4 or 5 times a week for a medium-ice-skim-one-Splenda (summer) or a medium hot tea, one bag, skim-one-Splenda. And I categorically do not want to see an ad for the new flat-bread sandwich or a box of munchkins going or coming.

And Procter & Gamble is experimenting with placing RFID tags on items on the shelf “so that when a customer pulls the product off the shelf, a digital screen at eye level changes its message.” Fortunately, this experiment is taking place in Germany. But, achtung! If I’m in Germany, and I run out of Crest, I don’t want to have an ad pop up suggesting that I buy a toothbrush. Although, on second thought, it might be fun to have an ad spieling out at me that I don’t understand.

Consumer marketers are apparently turning to these tactics because the old Mad-Men standby - the TV ad - just ain’t what it used to be. (”Look, Ma, no cavities.”)

I really don’t look forward to the day when this sort of personalized, in your face marketing really gets going.

We have so little white space in our lives these days. But at least we can mute the TV. Click the “X” in the pop-up. Turn off the darned cell phone.

But how much control do we have over ads that are pushing at us as we push our carts up and down the aisles.

I shudder to think at the cacophony when a half dozen of us end up in the toiletries section at the same time. Someone picks up a box of tampons, and up jumps an ad for panty shields. Someone picks up allergy pills, and the screen suggest they buy some Kleenex. Touch that heating pad and, hey, why not make it two-fer and get an ice pack while you’re at it.

There are some voices of reason:

“I’m a skeptic on technology in the shopping environment,” says Andy Murray, chief executive of Saatchi & Saatchi X, the Publicis Groupe agency that focuses on in-store marketing. Screens need to be useful to get people to pay attention, and if stores are just using them to sell products, shoppers won’t be receptive, he says.

Well, reason more or less. (Real reason would be complemented by the compassionate realization that sometimes people just want to get left alone.) Truly, I don’t want someone else’s definition of “useful” either - unless it’s telepathic, and can remind me that I came to the store not just for bread but for bread and jam.

There is one comfort in all this:

Technology firms hope to ward off any potential privacy issues by not capturing and storing any personally identifiable information about consumers.

I’ll bet.

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