A losing proposition

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how half the battle with direct mail or e-mail is getting someone to open up the piece and seeing what you had to say.

Well, I just got a direct mail piece that won half the battle, but abysmally failed the other half - and irritated me no end in the process.

The direct mail piece that I received came in an envelope designed to make you believe that you were getting a letter from the IRS. It had a big, bold “2009″ in the return address, some official looking numbers, and a mention that it was from the “Records Processing Division.” There was also something printed on the envelope that indicated that it was “Documented Mail - Confidential - Time Sensitive - OFFICIAL USE ONLY.” I noted that while this was printed on the envelope, there was a coy pretense that this was a sticker, similar to what you might find with a registered or insured mail receipt. The printed on fake “label” went so far as to have this printed on the reverse side of the envelope - fakily acting as if it were a sticker: PLACE STICKER AT TOP OF ENVELOPE…FOLD AT DOTTED LINE.

Well, I’ll fold you at dotted line alright.

I was especially sensitive to hearing from the IRS, because a day earlier we’d received a check from the state because we had made a mistake on our tax form, and had over-paid by $800. So, I was thinking, damn, we have to refile our Fed, since we deducted state tax, or remember to include this as income next year….

Anyway, when I opened the envelope, the missive was from Colonial VW of Medford, telling me that they are very interested in acquiring my car and turning it into a pre-owned, pardon me - pre-loved, car. And letting me buy a new one at up to $6,000 off the MRSP at 0% APR.

Perhaps they aren’t aware that my VW is post-loved, and was given to Volunteers of America two years ago. They, in turn, sold it at auction.

In any case, I know there’s a recession on, and things are tough for auto dealers, but I really don’t think you do yourselves any big marketing favor by sending a flyer out in an envelope that most folks would interpret as coming from the IRS. (And I’m not crazy here: I showed the envelope to a handful of folks, and they all had the same impression.)

I’m sure that this one is on someone’s clever “10 Tips for Getting Someone to Open Your Mail” list, but if they were really clever, they would have made some reference to the IRS-look-alike-ness in their copy. How about, “We know, we know, you probably thought that this was from your friendly IRS, and we apologize for that. But we really wanted you to know about this program….”  That, I would have found entirely acceptable. I still don’t have a VW to turn in, but it would have been a not bad way to get my attention - and acknowledged (wink, wink) their little ruse.

As it stands, I’m just plain annoyed, and not feeling pre-loved at all.

No way to treat a prospect, I’m afraid.

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